Dear Trainer

Anyone with a kid that rides has paid a trainer or more likely, multiple trainers.  Contrary to popular belief, riding is not "easy" and it is a sport.  Not only are you dealing with a human athlete, you are dealing with a  large equine athlete that has it's very own agenda.  Trainers are necessary if you want to live.

Most trainers are exceptionally wonderful people but trainers are horse people and horse people are crazy.  My kid has had 5 trainers throughout her riding career thus far and has ridden with many, many clinicians.  We've run into about every personality type out there.  The majority of our experiences have been great and my daughter has learned a ton.  We are grateful to the trainers out there who are true pros and dedicate their lives to horse and kids.  I couldn't do it but am thankful there are people out there who teach with joy and have a true love of sport.  But there are also what we call "the others".  This letter is dedicated to all of "the other" trainers out there.  I wish I could say that you know who you are but you likely have no clue.

Dear Trainer:

Thank you for keeping my daughter waiting 15 minutes past the start time of her lesson.  Her horse was thoroughly warmed up by the time you decided to finally walk away from your chat with several of your admirers.  We also appreciate that you ended the lesson on time and charged us for the full hour.

We have noticed your habit of taking cell calls during lessons and would appreciate it if you would give your full attention to the small child flying over jumps.  Our favorite conversation concerned what you were going to make for dinner that evening.  Dinner is so much more important than my child's safety. 

We realize we aren't your "top" clients and don't spend the most money on training or shows but we are there twice a week, every week, go to at least one show a month AND pay trailering and coaching fees. We support you when you ask for donations to replace jumps, need extra hands around the barn, etc.   It is kind of you to ensure my kid knows she is not your favorite.  Showing blatant favoritism towards one child/family over another is extremely professional and makes everyone feel just peachy.

Thank you for using my daughter's well trained show horse for lessons without asking our permission or compensating us in any way.  You are aware that this is the only horse she has and she only jumps her horse once weekly, if that, to protect her horse's legs.  You are also aware that the horse is older and requires joint maintenance to stay sound.  So, you can see how we would sincerely appreciate learning from other students that they have been jumping our horse several times a week without our knowledge! 

Please refrain from calling my daughter's horse a "piece of shit". Saying it numerous times does nothing to move you closer to earning a commission from the sale of this "piece of shit" or to selling one of your horses to us.  It must make you angry when our "piece of shit" beats your horses at shows on a frequent basis!

Is it too much to ask that you not comment on my child's weight?  She is 9 and going through a pudgy stage but your comments that her 'thighs are too fat for her to ever accomplish anything significant on horseback' are totally out of line.  She is there to learn to ride, not for diet tips.  And are fat comments ever appropriate when they are 100% unsolicited?  I hired you to teach her to ride, not to teach her to be anorexic or bulimic. Sorry about getting in your face and screaming at YOU after that comment was made.  I love my kid.

Last, thank you so very much for your "calm" demeanor and patience, particularly in front of others.  There is nothing a child enjoys more than being verbally dismantled in front of a group of peers.  While there are times when constructive criticism is warranted, it is never appropriate to do so in your red faced-full volumed-obscenity laden manner.  When you see young children wide eyed and cowering in your presence, it's generally not a good thing.

I apologize that we are not able to continue to be one of your mindless sheep like admirers who will follow you blindly and without questioning your practices.  We happen to notice that other trainers look at you with a smirk or a shake of the head as they attempt to avoid conversation with you.  Feel free to talk crap about us after we leave.  It will be significantly better than the crap you talk about us while we are paying your bills!

Cheers,

Crabby Horse Show Mom