People that aren't involved with horses or with shows don't have a clue how cutthroat the equestrian world can be. Depending on your discipline, your trainer and sometimes the level of competition, shows can be a brutal world where you must run a mental and physical gauntlet to potentially win a pretty ribbon. It's hard on the kid competitors who are riding but it can be even more difficult on the show mom, particularly if you are the socially and financially awkward type like me. Make no mistake, you are being watched and most of the true judging takes place outside of the arena.
Let's begin with the horse. My kiddo started out in the hunter world where the breed of horse you ride is important. Very important. A bargain basement thoroughbred, no matter how nice, simply won't cut it. If you ride anything other than that big dollar pony, you will be judged. It's about mega fancy, insanely expensive warmbloods with impeccable pedigrees and tight knees. So while we were game, we weren't what you would call successful in the hunter ring.
Thankfully eventing is a bit more forgiving. You see horses of all breeds, colors and sizes competing. Thoroughbreds are pretty common but purpose or sport bred types are looked upon more favorably than the off the track variety. Sure you see fancy and expensive warmbloods out there but thoroughbreds seem to be the horse of choice. This was lucky for us as an older, green thoroughbred was about all we could afford. Horses do need to have decent movement (fancy for the upper levels), they need to be brave and forward for cross country and they need to be tidy jumpers for stadium. Sanity of said horse is desirable but somewhat negotiable. If you have a horse that used to compete at a high level with a well known rider, all the better. Whatever your horse's breed, size or sanity, you had better be able to ride that sucker and control it or you will be judged.
Once you have the horse, you need the proper attire and tack. Dressage and stadium require the more conservative and traditional beige or white breeches with jacket, tall boots and stock tie. There are variations on a very narrow theme here but rest assured riders know the difference between FITS breeches and Devonaire, and they can tell at a glance if you are wearing custom Dehners or a cheap off the shelf brand of boot. *Sniff* You are judged.
Cross country is always my favorite phase as the freaks come out and dress up. Have a strange affinity for lime green? Go for it. Want to look like a bumblebee in yellow and black everything? Have at it. How about hot pink gear and clothing for you and your horse? You betcha! It's one of the few places in the equestrian world where you can really play with color and theme without too many eye rolls from other riders. But you better have your ass seated in a German or Italian custom made saddle and your bridle and breast collar better be buttery soft and super expensive. No Wintecs puh-lease! (Because you will be judged.)
How about your trainer? Does your trainer actually ride and compete? Do they ride and compete at fairly impressive level? Do they have students competing at all different levels? Does the trainer have a huge group of people, brat calls them "baby ducks", trailing them as they move from one place to the next? Does your trainer train with BNT's (Big Name Trainers) or have they competed at one of the premier events in the United States aka Rolex? If the answer to any of these questions is "no", you will be judged and potentially pitied.
I would be remiss if I didn't bring up your rig. Your trusty truck and trailer which is used to haul your precious cargo better be up to snuff. Don't pull up in an old stock trailer (judged). Don't have an ancient truck with a dent or flaking paint (judged). The bigger your trailer the better and if you have living quarters, you've just moved up a whole 'nother level of respect. Trucks and trailers = money, you don't have them you are judged, judged, judged.
We could go into the judging that goes on about body types, whether the rider is fit or not but I think we all know a bit too much about that type of judgement in our day to day lives. And don't even consider crying. Remember Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own? Baseball has NOTHING on eventing. There's no crying in eventing! Tears bring judging which brings more tears and, well you get it.
Here's where the judging gets interesting and necessary; you will be judged on how your horse looks. I'm not talking about color and size, I'm talking about whether your horse is shining with good health. If your horse is skeletal you will be judged and you damn well should be. If you bring a lame horse to the show AND decide to try and ride it anyway, you will be judged hardcore. If you beat your horse or mistreat it in any way, not only will you be judged but you may be shunned in a manner that will make the Amish look tolerant.
But this is what I love about eventers, sure they will judge you and talk about you behind your back. They will disparage your riding, your gear, your attire and maybe your fitness level but if you find yourself at a show and you've left your saddle pad or worse, your saddle-bridle-girth-boots, etc. at home, you'll have multiple people offering their own tack to help you out. If you are in first place and fall off, thus eliminating any hope of a ribbon, you will have many riders who will come and commiserate as they have ALL been there. If something happens to your horse, you will have a sea of people you've never met coming over to give you hugs, words of wisdom or maybe even their precious adult beverages. And if you win, even if you beat the person with the biggest rig, the most expensive horse, the best respected trainer and the loveliest tack, you will be sincerely congratulated by all. It's a tough sport and sometimes a finish is a win but everyone there knows how incredibly hard it is to win an event, all phases have to go just right, you have to have done your homework to get there and you have to survive the judging gauntlet with grace and humor. Ride on.
